No kidding, right?
I published one post. I wrote/edited three. I meant to write something every day, and do you know what happened? I struggled to find time. Yet again. Story of my life. But, here’s the thing.
I’m learning to remind myself that it’s ok. It’s ok to be late. It’s ok to fall short. It’s ok to have big dreams and only meet a few of your goals, because that’s life. This life is filled with the unexpected. Plans change. And that’s the point. I’m learning to make a roadmap and then be willing to diverge from the paths and enjoy the ride, the journey is everything.
In the beginning of this month my sister-in-law moved here from Texas. Rich went and helped her drive her U-haul up and we unpacked and moved her in with us until she found an apartment. But her plans were foiled, too. Her first week at her new job downtown and her back went out! She was in crippling pain, the worst she’s ever felt in her life. Rich and I, along with my mother-in-law and many of our good friends, have been helping nurse her back to health, take her to physical therapy and appointments, making sure to get her food, do her laundry. She might be laid up for another few months. She’s had to learn, after being a manager of a huge Starbucks store, to stop and rest, take care of herself, and enjoy true rest. It’s been so hard for her, but I’m learning so much from sitting with her in her pain. Sometimes being present for her is all she needs from me. I don’t always feel like I get to help her out, but she insists very often she just wants to hang out with others, get out of her room, or watch a movie together.
It’s been a learning curve for all of us—Rich, my sister, me, their mom—learning to put non-important plans on hold while we sit and simply “be” together. Priority is God, family, care, people. Then comes work, then comes pleasure/wants/desires for personal gain.
Life has changed this month and I’m ok with it. To me, that shows I’ve grown in patience, although I’ve also seen how selfish I can be and areas of growth for myself.
Next week is the first week of school. My first week as a full-time literature teacher. I’m very excited! I’m also very scared. I’ve only assistant taught before, and this is all new. New kids, new subject matter. I feel like I have so much to learn and here I am with the responsibility of educator. It sounds so big. So scary. So important. But I’m learning that’s ok, too. I’ll be fine. I’ll do some things wrong and some things right, I’ll have days in which student will love me and others in which they’ll be beyond annoyed with me. They’ll think I’m brilliant or unfair, fun or boring.
It’s all ok. It’s all going to be ok. Especially the unexpected.